I Give Up!

I have finally come to the conclusion that we are irreparably lost as a country.

No matter if we elect staunch Conservatives for the next 20 years, our country as we know it, has been damaged beyond repair.

Just think of all the liberty-killing social programs enacted by FDR. Seventy five years later and they are still with us, dragging us down and now we have multiplied their number as well as their damaging effects one hundred fold.

Face it, we just can't fix it, folks!

Our only option is to scrap it all and start over. So, in order to get the ball rolling, I suggest a series of seccessions and redefining our state borders according to the map above. (click to enlarge)

The map is pretty self explanatory. I am signing new citizens up now, so don't delay!

Where's My Flux Capacitor When I Need It?

I was born in 1962, on the precipice of the turbulent and societal changing "Summer Of Love" and The Hippie Era.

I always thought growing up that it was a given that progress is good, that the future held amazing things that would advance mankind and that our world was slowly and steadily moving towards "a better world" that would benefit all people.

Well, to be honest, it was more like... " Ah, that's some cool shit! Wonder what else I will see in my lifetime?"

Nevertheless, at no time did I think that the future held bad things, at least not for mankind as a whole. I could envision myself having hard times ahead, but surely my country would only get better, right?

Even a cursory look at a history book (remember those things kids?) would show a steady march of improvement.

Gone was the practice of sticking people's heads in ovens to cure them of madness like in the Middle Ages.

Gone was the habit of blood-letting to rid the body of "excess humours" to cure everything from the flu to syphilis.

Gone were the days of cruel despots and kings killing their subjects for failing to doff their caps at royal processions, gone were debtors prisons, gone were peasants toiling in the fields, gone was indentured servitude.

No, we were America! Land of the Free, Home of the Brave and in the immortal words of Timbuc3..." the future's so bright, I gotta wear shades"

So what happened? Why do I go to sleep at night wishing I were Marty McFly and wishing I could climb into my own DeLorean and whisk myself back to 1955?

Why do I look around at my country now and see the very things that made America great evaporating before my very eyes?

Gone is the notion of exceptionalism, that our country is great because of our ideals.

Gone is the idea of equality for all, now supplanted by Affirmative Action and race quotas, most recently highlighted by the nomination of Sonia Sotomayor, celebrated for her "compelling story" and an overabundance of vowels in her name but wholly unqualified to serve on the highest Court in the land.

Gone, forever I fear , is the idea that a man that works hard and obeys the law will prosper in this land and that his children will be better off than he was.

Gone is the antiquated belief that our elected officials should be working for the good of the people. Instead,it has been replaced with a mix of cronyism and political spoils system that benefits a favored few.

In fact, as I type this, I can't for the life of me think of one traditional American ideal that we as a people still recognize and have faith in.

Every right enumerated in the Bill of Rights is under attack now, right now, in our once great country. It makes me cry, it really does.

So, what now? What do we do?

I don't know about you, but I'm gonna give ol' Doc Brown a call.

The Liberal Bill Of Rights

Amendment I - Congress shall not respect religion or allow the free exercise thereof. Freedom of speech is allowed, for speech we find acceptable. All other speech shall be ridiculed or stifled. The right of the people to peaceably assemble shall not be abridged, unless it is a bunch of redneck, racist, Conservative “Teabaggers” protesting Government spending.

Amendment II - A well regulated Militia, being extremely scary to us, as well as guns generally being kind of “yucky”,the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be allowed at any cost.

Amendment III - No soldier shall be honored or respected, because we know that they are all a bunch of baby-killers and they torture poor “freedom fighters” and make the rest of the world not like us, and that hurts our feelings.

Amendment IV - The right of the people to be secure in their homes is a Conservative fantasy. The Government is like our Big Brother. And we all know that our Big Brother can come in our room at any time and if you tell Mom, Big Brother will give you a “noogie”, but in this case, the “noogie” carries automatic weapons.

Amendment V - No person shall ever question Hollywood. Our views on politics and American culture shall correspond to what Alec Baldwin and Janeane Garafalo tell us. At no time shall our entertainment contain such antiquated notions such as patriotism, honor of country, support of the military or endorsement of so-called traditional American values. These are bad...very, very bad.

Amendment VI - In all criminal prosecutions, the Defendant, usually a Minority or illegal immigrant, shall have the benefit of doubt and shall be pitied. All arresting officers shall be considered to be corrupt and abusive, therefore the defendant shall go free, but not before collecting millions from a civil lawsuit.

Amendment VII - The right of trial by jury shall be preserved as long as the presiding Judge is, and instructs the jury to be, empathetic to the Defendant and take into consideration that his early childhood is responsible for him raping and murdering that 80 year old woman and a sentence of 6 months of intensive Group Therapy shall be the maximum imposed.

Amendment VII - Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted, like speaking nasty, yelling, or putting you into a cold (75 degrees) cell or restricting your cable TV rights. Nor shall they be forced to exercise or work if they are sleepy or cranky, nor shall they be forced to eat fatty foods or stuff they find “gross”.

Amendment IX - The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to really be rights. We don’t believe in the Constitution.

Amendment X - All powers and rights are to be dispensed by the Federal Government at our discretion. All rights and powers that Conservatives think that they possess are hereby rescinded.

(click on picture for larger version. This is an original piece. Feel free to pass it on - Warpigg)

Back In Action....

So, as I was saying.....

Well, Dear Reader, sorry I have been absent so long, but the abundance of news (mostly bad) and things in my personal life (mostly good) have kept me away from my trusty keyboard.

Where to begin?

Since we last talked, universal (state-run) healthcare is on the fast track, evidently to be payed for by yet MORE taxes on cigarettes and more taxes on liquor. But now the devious bastards are not only spreading the wealth, they are spreading the pain too. You know those sugary drinks we all like to consume, variously known as soda, pop, Coke or soda pop, depending on your stompimg grounds? Well, they are going to be taxed so we can provide yet another free service for the indigent and illegal in our midst.

Oh, and that sweet employee provided healthcare that you and I have worked hard for and probably stayed at our jobs just so we could keep? Yep, the Messiah says ya gotta pay taxes on it too, because somehow, it is now considered income. Nice.

What else?

Nancy Pelosi is a liar. Wanda Sykes is a dyke with a shitty sense of humor. The President DID NOT know about his plane strafing Manhattan. The number of private enterprises that the Government now controls keeps increasing. And the main criteria for the Supreme Court seems to be that you "have empathy" for the poor downtrodden people of our country, not any knowledge of the law or Constitution. Who among us would be suprised if BHO nominated Oprah?

Are you starting to see why I haven't been posting? It's too damned depressing!

And I think that is part of the Libtards strategy....baffle the masses with sensory overload, occupy them with meaningless stories and issues, and quietly overthrow the Federal Government as we know it.

I know, I know....paranoid fantasies right? Well, at the heart of every paranoid fantasy is a nugget of truth and that nugget is named Barak Hussein Obama. ( and don't get you rpanties in a wad because I just called him a name that has the letters N-G-G & E in it...it was pure coincidence I assure you).

On a lighter note ;

Now that steamy photos of Miss California have come out (all in an attempt to further besmirch her character), hotter photos have come out of Miss Rhode Island 2009.

Look here: http://www.maxim.com/girls/girls-of-maxim/70316/new-england-patriots-cheerleaders.html#10

For contrast....Miss Washington D.C. 1926 , Miss Marjorie Joesting.

Look here: http://www.shorpy.com/node/6124?size=_original

We've come a long way, Baby!

Until later, Dear Reader. Remember, truth always silences Liberalism...use it!